Sunday, August 12, 2012

Lifestyle Change Coming my way...

Day 1 of my 24 Day Challenge is in the books.  I am not looking back on the fact that if I had stuck with it and made a lifestyle change last year I would not be sitting here the same size when I started last year. 

So today was the first day of the rest of my life.  I am changing my lifestyle.  I am tired of being overweight to the point that I will do whatever it takes to not be that way anymore.  I want to lose the weight and be healthy and fit for ME.  No one else but ME.  I'm focusing on doing what is best for ME.  And while I know that sounds selfish if I don't I will be sitting here a year from now worse off than I am now. 

So for those friends that I dine with frequently, please do not be offended if I would rather eat at home for now.  I know I'm human and I will slip up.  I am prepared for that but for now this is what I need to do. 

So as my family and friends (if you are reading this), I ask you for support and prayers in this endeavor.  I feel better now than I have in years since I had my surgery and I know it is a time for a change.  If I don't do it now nothing will ever change.  Plus I am terrified of weight gain associated with menopause. 

I have faith in God and in myself that I can and will do this. 

Love to all!

Saturday, February 11, 2012

6 years ago today my life changed forever

I am fooling only myself when I say my mother exists now only in the photograph on my bulletin board or in the outline of my hand or in the armful of memories I still hold tight. She lives on in everything I do. Her presence influenced who I was, and her absence influences who I am. Our lives are shaped as much by those who leave us as they are by those who stay. Loss is our legacy. Insight is our gift. Memory is our guide.- Hope Edelman
Six years ago today, February 11th was a Saturday just like today. But that cold, snowy day changed February 11th for me for the rest of my life. It will always be to me the day that I lost my best friend, my biggest cheerleader, also known as my mom.
That morning we woke to a fresh, thick blanket of snow. It was a rather quiet day around the house. We knew mom's time was nearing the end. We spent the day inside watching movies and cuddled up. We had been instructed by hospice not to talk to her so she could make a peaceful transition. So we would take turns just sitting in there with her....reading, resting, reflecting...praying.
We got up that morning...Lindsey and Jen had spent the night with us. Darrell and Jen went and got stuff and we all made breakfast that morning. Aunt Lynn left to go get Paul so he would be here when the time came. We spent the day watching movies and waiting.
Around 6, maybe a little before, I stuck my head in to check on her and she had started the breathing. I called for Jen, because she was a nurse, and from there the few of us that were there gathered around the bed and just watched....within 45 min she passed on from this life. Free from pain. She spent a year fighting the awful C word. I know she was ready to go and was at peace with it. She tried to help us all be at peace with it too.
Of course I think about her everyday. I still want to call her and tell her when something happens. I wonder to myself on proabably a daily basis "I wonder what mom would tell me to do?"
But February 11th will forever be etched in my mind as will the events of the week to follow. February 11th, 2006 is one day that changed my life forever.

Sunday, June 5, 2011


For me to say that I am happy with my life is probably an understatement. For the first time in years I finally feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be and doing what I'm supposed to do.
Update on weight loss:
As of my weigh in this week I'm down 21 pounds! Thank you, Advocare for your awesome products and Jennifer Boyd for in a gentle, persistent way introducing them into my life. I have never in my life felt this good. I feel like the happy girl that I always was growing up has returned. And maybe that sounds silly but sometimes I feel silly!
My last month or so has been filled with work, tball games, traveling to Birmingham for an Advocare meeting, traveling to Ringgold to visit Auntie and Cliffy, traveling to Gatlinburg with the Yo-Yo's, reading, spending time with friends and family.
I'm also teaching the 1st and 2nd grade on Wednesday nights at church! I am going to enjoy this. Last Wednesday night was the first night. Bree went with me. I had two girls besides her and that was all. Well the other two were shy being our first week together. On the way home since Bree was mad at me (which is a whole different story) she tells me "Ummm....well....they didn't really like you..." Oh the things this child can say to totally bust your ego. But I love her just the same.
I really don't have much else to say....but that LIFE.IS.GOOD!
Until next time, Love you All!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

How Did I Get This Way...

"What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new, right now." -Unknown Well its been almost a month and a half since I poured out how miserable I was about my weight and that I was going to do something about it. So today I finally started...yes I know I had this epiphany or what have you a month ago but I'm a planner and I had to plan and make sure my heart and mind were in the right place to start this long journey...And I'm finally ready. I'm dedicated to getting this weight off for good and making lifestyle changes. Food has been my comforter for the last 10 years or so and well now I'm going to find other ways to satifsfy that....

  • I have decided that I actually like working outside in the yard. A couple of weekends I cleaned up and trimmed half of the shrubs on one side. Hopefully the sun will be out this weekend and I will be able to finish up the other side and then there will be the small spot in the back that needs to be cleaned up.

  • Then I plan on tackling my garage/basement.

  • I am going to spend more time reading!

  • I am going to stop spending so much time on the computer...for crying out loud I stare at one for 8 hours a day you would think I would be ready to do something else by the time I get off work. I am limiting my time to an hour max of computer time....I do use it to read blogs and my couponing.

  • I am going to start going to bed earlier. They say to lose weight you need at least 7-8 hours of sleep.

  • I am going to make sure that I exercise at least 30 minutes everyday...and I started that today.

As soon as I finished work and logged off the computer I came straight to the living room. Put on my tennis shoes and popped in the biggest loser DVD. I did a 45 min workout. I rehearsed in my head all day how it would go when I get off work. Instead of worrying about laundry or the a million other things in my house....I took time for me to exercise and sweat. And while I was doing one of the exercises in the floor doing abdominal crunches...I started saying to myself...Why did I let myself get this way? Why did I make excuses and do nothing. I had one good year in college and then I stopped and the weight crept back on....then my mom got sick and died and my way to deal with that was to eat. So I ate and ate and here I am today...Morbidly Obese....yes if you calculate my BMI...I'm morbidly obese. I don't want to be the person who whines about being overweight and does nothing about it. I am finally doing something about it. It started today....And I know there will be hills and valleys....but I know I have a wonderful support system of friends and family who love me and care about me and want to see me get healthier.

So I will use my blog to keep me accountable and chime in and let you know how I'm doing. Don't be afraid to ask me. I will be honest. I need people to keep me in check. Any suggestions or healthy recipes or advice...please send it my way. I am the only person who controls my life and from today forward I take full control. No more excuses...This is it! Until next you all.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

This Is My Year.....

This post is a little hard and emotional for me to write about. It is something I have struggled with my entire life and well I'm tired of it and ready to make some life changes or maybe should I say lifestyle changes. This is me being real....taking off the mask i guess you could say and exposing something that I struggle with all day everday.

I have been overweight for my entire life or well at least as far back as I can remember (for those of you that know me know that I remember everything). I've said every year for I don't know how many now that this year I'm going to lose the weight, and well I haven't. I lose some I gain some and then I remain the same. This year is different. I am motivated. I want to be healthly....And I'm ready to make the changes for that to happen. I have a picture in my living room from 2003 when I had lost alot of weight on WW. And I want to get there again....really actually more than that because that picture was still not near goal.

I have a few minor set backs with health...I have PCOS and have insulin resistance related to that. But I'm determined to not let that be a crutch. I went to the nutritionist last year and was given the information that I needed to be healthier. And so that is what I'm going to do. I'm one that if I set my mind to something I do it. I am tired of being the extremely overweight girl in the room. I'm tired of how I feel when I am in a picture with all of my "skinny" friends. I'm tired of being tired because I carry all this weight around.

So what do I need from you my family and friends...I need love (sometimes tough love) and support....lots of support....

I know that this is not going to be easy. But I am 100% committed to doing this.

This is my year!

Until next you all!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

It's Been a While....

I skipped the whole month of October. Time flies when your having fun or busy. So many things happened last month. One of my best friends got married the first weekend in October. That weekend was filled with fun wedding activities. I think Mandy and Brett's wedding was by far the most beautiful wedding I have ever had the privilege of attending. It was a picturesque autumn day on her family's property.

The next weekend I spent preparing for Aunt Lynn and Paul's visit for a few days. I was glad they got to come spend some time with me. We of course went shopping and out to eat. Oh and Aunt Lynn's favorite thing.....cleaned more. lol. I also realized that my cousin Paul, I know he loves me and I will always be the cool cousin, has gotten older and didn't want to stay until the weekend after Aunt Lynn went home. When he was younger he always wanted to stay with me but now since he is a junior in high school I guess that is not the case anymore. I'm proud of him. He has turned into an awesome young man and is very talented musically.

I'm not sure that I did anything the next weekend. I did go to Bree's soccer game but that was about it. I used my new vacuum cleaner that I was so excited about. lol. That Monday I went to the YO-YO Bible Study. I enjoy getting to spend time with this group of ladies. They have meant alot to my family. They were my mom's friends and were there every step of the way when she was sick. New faces have joined the group and I love them dearly as well. I look up to this group of ladies!

That next weekend was an emotional roller coaster. I attended my friend Jana's wedding in Franklin. It was at the Inn at Walking Horse Farm. It was a lovely fall day and she was a beautiful day. I left from there to come back home to Mrs. Linda King's Memorial Service. She was a Yo-Yo but before she was that to me she was my High School Pre-Cal and Calculus teacher. She was by far the teacher that had the most influence on me. She was so passionate about math! She was always there for us. We would have study sessions for the AP test at her house. Even in college I would email her problems that I was stuck on and she would help me. A couple of years ago she gave me a birthday card with a math teacher working a problem on the board. She worked the entire problem out in my card. It was so funny. I kept that card because of it. I take joy in knowing that I will see her again one day.

The next weekend I attended sweet Tiffany Gannon's baby shower and it was also Halloween!! I had some special trick or treaters come see me...A pig named Wilbur (ella), a skunk (my newphew Aiden), and a sweet cow girl (Bree). Aiden was more interested in chasing the cat up and down the sidewalk, Ella wanted to go straight to see Sadie, Bree was interested in her special treat bag. I got a text from Jen and he enjoyed his when he got in the car. I love those 3 little stinkers!

So that was my October. This weekend I have not felt good at all and have been resting. Hopefully this cold will be gone ASAP! I am so excited about the Holiday's this year and cannot wait to decorate for Christmas. I have not been excited since my mom's been gone but this year I am. I feel like I've got my spunk back!! Maybe it is working from home and not being on the road all the time. I finally feel like I have my life back!

Until next time....Love you all!

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Life Lesson #2...Children are sometimes smarter than we think...

(On my birthday with my girls)

Sweet Ella was at my house tonight ...She is looking in my corner curio cabinet and sees all the teapots and says "It's a tea party in there.." I told her those were Weezer's mommies...She said "Weezer where is your mommy?" I told her that my mommy was in Heaven with Jesus to which she says, "but I went to church last night(I guess she heard Jesus and church was the first thing she thought of)." She then asked why and I told her because she was sick and she looks at me and says "did her back hurt?" She then proceeds to tell me "she (my mom) is flying and flying and she loves it" And she is right. She is my guardian angel. I love that little girl. She and Bree Bree make my heart happy.

I love spending time with Ella and Bree. I am their Weezer even though Bree doesn't really call me that anymore. I know they both love me in their own ways and my life is much richer to have them in it.

Busy weekend ahead....One of lifelong friends is getting married on Saturday afternoon. Mandy and Brett are tying the knot. It seems like just yesterday they had started dating but that has been 4 years ago. I spent alot of time in Nashville with Mandy after my mom died. Many weekends I spent in her apartment on Fairfax. We haven't spent as much time together over the last year but she will always be one of my best friends and I'm so happy for her as she begins this new chapter in her life. I also have a pedi with Linz, Bree's soccer game, Autumn street fair, and want to decorate my house for fall. We'll see if I get it all done.

Until next time....I love you all and hope you have a blessed day.